A Sad Story; Misalignment of Goals and Values

In the last couple of days, I was reading a book about improving personal effectiveness and it shares a sad story which I share with you here:

Once upon a time there was an attorney at a Capitol Hill cocktail reception. This man has spent his entire life working to build one of the biggest law firms in the country - over 300 attorneys in the Boston, New York and Washington, DC. You would think that this person would be proud of his success, so someone asks him "You really must be proud about your accomplishments. Lots of lawyers have the dream you had, but could not pull it off and YOU DID IT!" The expected reaction was one of pride of accomplishment. Instead , this gentleman with now gray hair and softer face takes a long sip of scotch and replied, "Son, let me tell you how I feel about my accomplishments. From the time I was in law school, my dream was to become the best and the biggest. I had a burning desire to build the largest law firm in the country. I married my college sweatheart and soon after receiving my law degree I started working day and night to realize that dream. When my wife began telling me that she wanted to spend more time with me, I would say, "But honey, I am doing this for you". She would tell me many times that if I wanted to do something for her, I could spend more time with her instead of with my job.

The old man continues with the story, "Our first child came, and then our second. I was not there when they were born. I was off opening offices in other cities. Again my wife begged me, "You have got to spend more time with us", and my standard reply was "I am too busy right now but I will change"; I never did. I am 75 years old now. My wife left me 20 years ago and I never remarried. At the time, I was shocked because I thought I had made it possible for her to have every material thing a woman could want. I know better now I was wrong. I gave her everything I wanted her to have. What's worse is that my children and I do not talk, I was not part of their lives when they needed me. I am a stranger even to my grandchildren, whom I have never seen."

By this time, the old man has tears down his cheeks. "If I had it to do over again, I would first determine what was really important to me and build my life around that instead of what I thought was supposed to be important to me. But now it is too late".

This story happens every single day by men in their stupid pursuit of riches which are misaligned with the family values. Many times in the pursuit of riches we sacrifice what is truly important to us and when we realize it; it is too late. The good new is that if you are reading this now, you may have time to make correction to past mistakes. Do not wait like the gentleman in the story and make a change in your life to align your values and goals. It is a fact; you will have conflict when your goals and values are out of alignment. To truly achieve success and wealth in life you must first determine your values, then align your goals to match your values (not the other way around).